Polaroids from Seattle

Once in a lifetime

 

This weekend we took Hailee to Seattle to see King Tut. She has been slightly obsessed with Egyptology for quite awhile and when we heard that this exhibit would be the last in the United States we knew we had to take her.

She was entranced the entire time as we shuffled through the stuffy and crowded gallery. My normally empathic and sensitive child was darting off in front of us and happily snapping photos with her dads phone of every single exhibit. Yes, every broach, every statue, every piece of shiny gold. It was her kind of heaven.

As a mom this is one of the things that gets to me the most. To experience something through her eyes for the very first time. She may not know how incredibly special the moment is just yet but I do and tear up just a little every time I watch her witness something new. All of these moments will make up her lifetime and I cannot help to feel privileged to witness it.

I mean really...how cool is my kid? She can name more Egyptian Gods than the average person, has a miniature set of canopic jars in her bedroom and worships Zahi Hawass. All of this and only 7 years old!

Happy Solstice!

Summer Solstice 2012 from Pixie Campbell on Vimeo Please enjoy this lovely video by Pixie Campbell on this beautiful day!   

I'm also celebrating a kindred today as she chose today to launch her new site. It is gorgeous!
Sending love and light across the miles to you.  Happy Solstice!

A Message

I shot and edited this video for Vivenne McMaster's lovely Montage class. I was so excited to share I finished my video before the class was complete. She is holding a second session in August which I would highly encourage enrollment for. No doubt you'll love it!

Life List Update

I've had a few things to check off The Life List for awhile now but a few tiny little details were causing my inner critic to stall. I felt compelled to have gorgeously staged photos to blog about it first.You know what? I'm letting go of that today and just showing up. Quick photo and all.

Checking off: Plant a Garden in the Yard
Our first step into gardening is this humble little raised bed. It's cute and it's manageable. I do not have what some would consider to be a "green thumb" but I'm tickled pink that things are growing. We got a late start getting it in and right now I'm thankful for the cooler weather we are having to give my little garden a chance. 

Next off the list? Wine! 
If you have known me for awhile you know I always am quick to declare: "I don't like wine." I really didn't. It became a quest for friends when we were gathered to have me try the sweetest wine they could think of. I'm a vodka girl through and through. I love my martinis. That was until a friend handed me a glass of sweet white poured over frozen grapes! Brilliant! I don't think it would be any surprise to you to learn that my new favorite wine is called: New Age. Fitting. Now to be truthful I rather prefer this wine as a spritzer or Tincho which probably makes a lot of wine connoisseurs disgusted but I like it the way I like it and that is just fine with me!

The fact that I suddenly now like wine (sort of) shouldn't really surprise me as I've found that my tastes are changing as rapidly as my body these days. It was just a few months ago when I discovered I like cooked cauliflower after a lifetime of dislike. My body is also becoming increasingly more sensitive the more work I do spirit wise. I gave up soda and fast food. Next was Red dye 40 after having some allergic reactions every time I consumed it. Most gum and mints? Those are out too. I will spare you the rant I have about how everything is dyed and artificially flavored these days. It really is unnecessary and my body is clearly not happy about it. Interesting how sometimes the more we come alive the more we "feel" as well.

Lastly a fun update. I was contacted recently by Lori Nelson Spielman asking for permission to use my photo for her website. She wrote a novel about a woman who has to complete the life list she wrote at age 14 in order to earn her inheritance. It will be released in 2013. I'm very much looking forward to reading it when it comes out!

At this rate I will have to start adding more to my list. Any suggestions?

Sometimes courage doesn't roar

Alternatively titled: Why I'd suck on Survivor.

I had grand plans for this blog post weeks ago. Funny how sometimes I start to write the posts out in my head before the event occurs. I was writing a story of my year long journey into self and how I successfully spent 3 nights and 4 days alone in the woods on my vision quest. I was piecing together juicy details of hardship and triumph and how I would come away with a clear vision of my path as I walked back down that mountain.

Only I didn't.

The weeks leading up to my quest slowly filled me with dread. I knew what I signed up for in theory. I knew it would be the hardest thing I have ever set out to do. I didn't know just how hard it would be.

I consider myself a fairly stubborn and hard headed person. I will be there when I say I will be there. I will be there for you if I tell you I will no if ands or buts. So surely I will do something I say I'm going to do. I thought there was no out on this. I thought I would soldier my way through like always. I would do this even though it was the last place I wanted to be.

I tried. Oh I tried so very hard to do just what I set out to do. My first afternoon was spent sobbing in my tent. Sobbing. The rain poured down outside and the tears poured down inside. Come night I tried to find comfort in sleep only it didn't come. Hours and hours passed and I fought and battled so hard against my emotional self.

The next morning came and went and I was no closer to being at ease in my circle. I drummed, I sang, I chanted and when the weather allowed I fiercely marched around my campsite laying logs in a circular pattern trying to define my territory to the unseen outside wild.

Then I snapped. Something so deep triggered inside of me I could no longer stay put. I marched outside of my circle and was on a mission. I was finding my teacher and calling this thing. I was done.

The agony of having to voice that you just aren't strong enough to complete a task is... heart wrenching. I felt as though I was letting the entire world down. Those dear friends I told whom were lighting candles for me and saying prayers for my journey; those were the ones I was so afraid of disappointing. But that little inner child inside of me would not be silenced. She was raging and clawing her way to the surface, in dire need of being heard and being held. She needed rescuing. So after what felt like hours of a full on temper tantrum in the presence of my teacher I said the words. "My inner little girl needs to win this one, I'm going to do this for her."

So after two full days and one night in the wild I left my quest early and here is what I learned:

-Sometimes the biggest quest of all is the one we take deep inside ourselves. Not the one out under the stars.

-Sometimes having to say: "please help me" is the bravest expression of all.

-Sometimes I don't have to be the hero, the rock star or the inspiration.

-Sometimes things just don't unfold quite like you expect and that's OK.

A Message

 

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." ~Harriet Tubman