I've Moved!

www.celinawyss.com

I'm so excited to share my new home on the web. Please update your subscriptions and feeds as I would love for you to follow me there!

Wide Open

It has almost become a ritual for our family. Gazing out the back window as the sun drifts down. We pause. Some nights there isn't much to see when clouds blot out the sun but other nights we are treated to a little something like this. Vast open sky and a spectrum of color.

Shop Update

I've been a busy little bee lately. If I am not shooting with the Polaroid then I am probably making jewelry or trying to learn how to cut glass bottles. Don't ask how the latter is going. In addition I am slowly working on a new website. I have been feeling the itch for change and to move to a site where I have the freedom of flexibility for future changes. So watch for the announcement coming soon!

If you haven't been over to the shop in awhile I have added some new prints, cards and jewelry. Also I am now offering custom word necklaces in the form of a photo pendant. A great way to show off your word of the year! I love making custom orders and have made several these past few weeks. So if there is something you are looking for but don't see in the shop I'd be happy to work with you to create a special piece! 

I heart instant

I'm having an affair. With my camera. My musky smelling old SX-70 and I have been getting along quite well these past few days. I'm excited about photography once again and am happily riding this creative wave out.

This Moment

I'm playing again this week with 52 Photos and hope to make a weekly habit of it. This week's theme is: Right Now. I picked an imperfect shot to share because really being in the moment is accepting the imperfections that arise and going with the flow. We've had a fair amount of snow this year which is something my daughter is reveling in. So I snapped off just a few shots of her playing then set the intention of being in the moment and watching her joy. Observing the white powder glisten as it fell down and marveling in all the beauty around me. This is what right now looks like to me.

Camera Winner

Congratulations to Cat! Lucky number #5 in the comments wins the Polaroid camera plus a pack of film.

Softly Fade Away

2012 is falling away. I'm ready to take on 2013. I've been making necklaces like crazy this week and will hopefully get them listed on Etsy soon.

I'm incredibly excited to try out the new big girl camera too! This was one of my first few shots. I am playing along this week in the 52 Photo's Project. Having prompts feels like a perfect way start learning my new toy.

Polaroid Giveaway!

In anticipation of the arrival of my new Big Girl camera I am feeling like I want to pass on a little kindness. That and patience never was a virtue of mine. Thanks to my cat knocking my DSLR off the desk and hearing it crack and pop as it hit I have been without a proper digital camera for over a month. I'm going stir crazy. So how about a giveaway? Because really who doesn't love giveaways?

In my thrifting adventures and because of very generous gifts from family I have many Polaroid cameras. In doing some inventory today I realized that no two are alike except for one pair. So I'd like to pass one along to you. If you are wanting to add to your collection or just want to try instant photography for the first time I would love for you to enter. Simply leave a comment below on why you would love to give this guy a home. I'll let the random number generator pick a winner on the end of Monday the 7th.

The best part: it works! I tested it just to make sure!

Update! The lovely folks at Impossible have offered to send a pack of PX680 film to the winner!

The post I wasn't sure I would write

Though I attempt to keep some parts of my life private here I feel like I actually share quite a bit. This past year was a roller coaster full of dramatic ups and downs for my family and myself.

So when I was brought to my knees with news this Fall I thought to myself that it would definitely be going to the blog. Because that is just something I do. Its a way for me to work through it, not unlike therapy. Only it didn't. I kept it balled up tightly only sharing with a select few. I cried. A lot. Mostly alone. I didn't let anyone help and I didn't reach out.

Tracey Clark's recent post about breaking her blog silence helped me realize that I can share this. I want to be able to share my hurts in a way that inspires others to reach out. I want to help others feel not so alone. Only right now I can't seem to muster a sparkly post about how to do that.

I am a mother. With that comes worry, pain, fear, love, heartache, stress, sleepless nights, giggles, homework, band-aids, adventure and so much more. When I learned that my daughter: My beautiful, spirited, unique child was recently diagnosed with Aspergers I was heartbroken. The words opened a long festering wound of worry and guilt. Yes I am fully aware how many other more challenging conditions there are in this world and I am grateful. But still there was a deep mourning period I had to go through. I had to let go of what I was hoping her childhood would look like. I had to let go of the picture I had created in my head for her. I have to allow her to be herself fully and truly and resolve to help her navigate this world in her own unique way. Which is a journey all mothers take.

There is nothing wrong with her nor will there be. I don't like the thought of attaching a label to her one bit so I will do my best not to. I will be an advocate for her with her schooling and find ways to help her as much as I can. Most of all I will stop beating myself up over the fact that we didn't catch on sooner. I always was hoping that maybe her sensitives were just that and we would get through it. We rode the roller coaster of anxiety for years. Tip toeing through challenges. Mostly we just stopped doing things that she could not do. Like going to movies or being outside when it was windy. Part of this new understanding comes acceptance and a willingness to not push so hard. To allow her to be where she is right now and find some outside support for all of us.

I'm realizing I am not super mom. I never really thought I was doing a stellar job but never asked for help either. I never admitted how difficult life was for us at times. How much shame and guilt I went to bed feeling every night. Those are the things that are harder to break free of.

I wasn't sure what direction the words would go once I started typing. I can't say that I feel ready to be uplifted by all of this just yet but at least with knowledge comes relief. We have a direction now, one that is missing the uncertainty we had before. That feels better.

Thank you all for seeing me and witnessing my ups and downs this past year. It has been quite a ride. One that I am ready to transform this year into with a lot more revelry and a heck of a lot less worry.

Seeing myself differently

For today's Relish12 prompt: Where this year did you begin to see yourself differently? What are the words you’d no longer use to describe yourself? What are your new favorite descriptors?
2012 has been a year of epic proportions. Really when I look back I am sort of wowed by the fact that I am not disheartened or feeling negative over all that transpired.

2012 was the year I learned to use my voice. It was the year I made the difficult decision to walk down off the mountain from my vision quest and not wallow in self pity because of it.

2012 was the year I learned having my identify stolen was really more about paper than my soul and I survived this too.

2012 was the year I looked at myself just a bit more gently as a parent and realized I really am doing the best I can.

I can hear new words forming in my head now as I think to describe myself. Ones that may not have been there last year. Strong. Artistic. Grateful. These are the words I now hold close.

One little word

2013 will be my 3rd year of picking a word as a guide. I never was one for resolutions. In the past I tried to set intentions but it wasn't until I heard about using just one word that I really decided to jump on the bandwagon.

I've learned that one simple word can pack a lot of punch. It gives me a focus for the year. Not anything too concrete, yet powerful enough to make stuff happen! My word for 2012 was Voice. It manifested itself in some interesting ways which is why I was awfully careful how I picked my next word.

Though I tried and tried to ignore it, the word: Revel kept popping up for me. It doesn't appear to be an elegant or beautiful word, but yet it feels like exactly how I want 2013 to look. I'm not sticking to its primary definition either. No, I really don't want 2013 to be about drunken all night parties. Instead I am focusing on another definition: to take great pleasure or delight  It is a powerful, strong word. It's a word that will remind me to live out loud and celebrate. Maybe just maybe it will get me dancing too. Who knows?

Happy Holidays!

From our house to yours. May your day be merry however you celebrate!

Body Map

Today's Relish12 prompt is from the lovely Liz Lamoreux. Someone I adore a whole heck of a lot. She writes: What does your body hold from 2012? Where did your feet walk? What did your hands hold? What did you tuck gently into your heart?

These hands, they held a child. Struggling, aware, insecure. They tapped along the keyboard sharing fears and stories and well wishes. The beat furiously on a drum. Boom...boom...boom.

These legs, they ran naked on a beach. Joyously in celebration of women-hood. They walked alone and not alone. One step then another, then another.

These eyes, they wept tears. Sometimes of joy, of sorrow, of laughter. The watched others walk their own crooked paths. They drank in the sites of new cities and destinations.

This body, it changed. Growing, shrinking, healing. It gave up foods that no longer felt good. It became more aware than ever of our interconnected lives. It felt love.

A Message

Celebrating

I'm home from New York with a full heart after spending some much needed time with my Tribe. These women each so uniquely different come together to make something incredible. I'm so thankful that 7 of us could make that trip on relatively short notice. Despite the shadow of events that took place last Friday we were able to grieve together and then made a conscious effort to celebrate each other during the weekend.

My very first trip to the city was magic. I spent a lot of time just observing it all. I took very few photos because I was just too busy immersing myself in the experience. It really lived up to the iconic expectations I had created in my head. The sounds, the people and the sparkle all were really something spectacular.

Of course the only reason I ever made it to the city in the first place was to celebrate my photo making it onto the wall at The Impossible Project space. It isn't something I can so much put into words. I will say that I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to share my work as it is something that brings me great joy.

I feel like pictures sum up this journey far better than words so I'll let them do the talking. You can see more photos from the trip here.

Morning Ritual

 
Today's prompt from Rebecca:

So, did you have a morning ritual this year? What did it consist of? Whether it stayed the same or changed as the year went on, what meaning do you think it holds?

My ritual includes tea. Just tea. I've never liked coffee but occasionally would drink tea in the past. Until this last year when it turned into a must every single morning. My husband even knows how to make it for me now and happily brings me a cup as I stumble out of the bedroom on weekend mornings. I savor every sip.

Creating Space

Monday I was the guest poster on Relish12. My prompt was more of a challenge than a writing assignment and it went a little something like this:

Carve some time out for yourself this week. Hire a sitter, enlist your spouse or family for help. Reach out. An hour or the whole afternoon, it’s your choice. When planning your time think about what your soul needs most. Is it comfort? Lock yourself in the bathroom for a bubble bath. Is it release? Take a drive to a quiet spot and scream at your steering wheel. Whatever it is you are most needing your highest self already knows, so take this time to do it. Afterwards, write about what creating that space meant for you. What emotions bubbled up? Where did your thoughts drift? Could you commit do doing this for you more often?

Of course when I wrote this my husband wasn't out of town and it wasn't 2 weeks before the Holiday's and just days before I leave for New York City. I was starting to wonder what exactly I was thinking. Then I just made sure it happened anyway. I've been withdrawn from others lately. I was tense. So much so it manifested itself directly in my shoulders to the point where I could not turn my head yesterday.

Today I was lucky enough to have an entire day per-scheduled and carved out for myself. Hair appointment first then followed by a blissful 1 hour massage. After that I topped it off with much needed chiropractic adjustment. I feel 100% better.

Lying on that massage table I drifted off into what feel like a waking dream state. No longer aware of my body or my surroundings I just let myself drift. The message that popped up was "let go..." So I did. I let go of worry and fear about my trip. I let go of the non loving way I have been treating my body lately. I let go of the tension that was rolling off of me. I allowed myself the gift of just being there. I physically could feel my shoulders moving away from my ears after I walked out today. What a difference a release can make. When I took a deep breath outside and noticed the sun was shining the world looked a hell of a lot different than it did when I woke up this morning.

It's all about perspective isn't it?

Favorite Reads of 2012

 
Better late than never I am finally diving into some Relish12 prompts. If you haven't signed up yet, I invite you to check it out. I am a wonderful example of someone who won't be blogging every day this month. Still surrendering here.

Today's prompt is from Rebecca and she asks: "What books did you read this year? Which were your favorites? Why did they mean so much to you?"

I read. A lot. This past year I eased back on the self-help books and indulged in quite a bit more fiction. I love losing myself in a fiction book, especially a series where I get intimately attached to the characters. I've learned this year that my favorite genre is Sci-Fi Fantasy.

Some of the highlights this year:
The Hunger Game Series by Suzanne Collins - I resisted reading these books so much after all the hype but in the end I caved and picked up copies and pretty much read them all in a heartbeat.

The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley - This could possibly be one of my all time favorite books. I loved the story line and the women's perspective of Arthurian legend. The feminine interpretations almost felt like teachings at times sprinkled through the book.

Books I'm still working on:
Women Who Run with Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes - This book has been in progress for 2 years now. While I deeply enjoy it whenever I pick it up to read it is not something I can devour in days. I prefer to pick it up when I feel called to and most often the chapter I read is something I very much needed to hear at that moment.

A Field Guide to NOW by Christina Rosalie - The lovely Michelle gifted this book to me from a contest on her blog. I'm so happy to have received it. Every time I pick it up I feel myself slowing down and noticing much more of my life as I live it.

I'm always, always looking for new reads to anxious to hear what everyone else is reading too!

Supporting Handmade

Every year I include more and more handmade into my holiday shopping. This year I'm so happy that I know so many wonderful artists. I wanted to spread a little love and cheer this season and hopefully bring some business their way. So if you are lacking gift ideas, click away!

Hand Stamped Pendant by Simply Rebecca

Water Your Soul Bracelet by Liz Lamoreux

Polaroid Card Set by Life Refocused

Goddess Necklace by Holding Space

Mixed Media Print by Tim's Sally

Hand Painted Moleskin by Kelly Barton

Stitched Brooch by Danielle Daniel

Emerging

Fuji FP-100c Film

Even though I'm emerging from the hibernation I had retreated into I am still surrendering as a practice.

I'm letting go of the fact that this year, thank yous from my daughter's party will not be sent.

I'm accepting that right now I'm currently without a nice DSLR camera thanks to my cat knocking mine to the floor with speedlight still attached.

I'm recognizing that I don't need to scrapbook every moment of my daughters life and it is ok to just put the photos in albums. The memories matter more.

I'm realizing that in less than 2 weeks I will be on my way to New York City and will probably be scared shitless in anticipation of being in a big city.

There is plenty of goodness going on around here. I'm grateful for that. Slowly I'm making my way back into the light again. I've been busy working on my Etsy shop and have several new items listed. I hope you will take a moment to check it out. More cards will be up by next week.