Wednesday, March 30, 2011

In This Moment...

In this moment I am
at war with myself
seeking peace

In this moment I am
on a journey
driting along my path

In this moment I am
wishing for whispers of my truth
arriving on tender wings

In this moment I am
seeking quiet in the ashes
looking for my niche

In this moment I am
nurturing intrigue
singing along with the universe

In this moment I am....

Monday, March 21, 2011

What I know...

I have been having a challenging day. I found myself struggling to stay grounded and present. My patience was wavering with my daughter. Something just felt off from the minute I woke up this morning. I was in the "ick." Somehow I stumbled back in it without even knowing it. I tried settling into yoga but found myself getting antsy. I sat in front of the computer. I wandered around the house. Nothing seemed to be a comfort. So I purged.  I purged online and I purged at home. I purged my thoughts. Just...... purged. The act of going through my items and organizing them is intensely calming to me. It is a way for me to create some stillness in my life. Dare I even say that it is a meditative practice for me. When I am done and I have a big huge pile ready for charity I literally release a huge sigh.

I feel lighter.

Little by little I let go of things bogging me down.

I let go of anything I am clinging needlessly to.

I breathe.

In this moment I acknowledge I will need to actively work on creating a stillness practice for myself and PRACTICE it. Today I am allowing myself the freedom to not feel the pull to be there for everyone.

That it is OK to say: "I'm sorry but I can't help you today, I need this day for me."

That my projects can wait until tomorrow.

That I did enough today.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

A little of everything

~Today I am guest posting at Picturing Extraordinary. I hope you will take a few minutes to hop over and share your thoughts on a very sensitive topic. A very big thank you to Sarah for giving me this amazing opportunity.

~ Have you been to Kind Over Matter lately? If not, take a peak. I'm loving the new look!

~I'm still sick. Thought I was better then wasn't. Won't go into the drama I have put myself through mentally the past few days. All I will say is that I was not practicing stillness.

~ I am taking little steps towards something new. Not ready to reveal yet but soon....

~Sales on my print for Japan are doing incredible, I am so thankful that I can do this little bit to help. I've already made my first $50 donation to Global Giving.

~I'm very seriously considering another blog move. I've been feeling limited with the templates and functions and ready to step it up. Also ready for a new blog name and taking suggestions. Right now I cannot decide between hiring someone to design one for me on Blogger or attempting to feel my way through the Wordpress program itself.

~I woke up this morning to find out I had won a spot in the upcoming Wish BIG ecamp. Squeal!!!

~ Go ahead and leap. Stop Waiting!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Sending Love and Support to those in Japan

I've been on the couch all day dealing with the fun that comes with a head cold.

I woke this morning feeling bad and sluggish. Then I logged on to Twitter and my world felt a whole lot smaller.

I allowed myself time to cry and feel the sadness that comes along with hearing news like this.

Then I listened to Liz Lamoreux's guided meditation and sent all those affected love and light.

Then I did a whole lot more couch lounging.

I wanted to find a way to help. Even if just a little.

Tonight I listed a special print in my Etsy shop and will be donating $10 from each sale to the Global Giving Japan Relief Fund.

It really is the least I can do in this moment.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Where I've Been

Last week was an unexpected blogging/social media hiatus for me. I just really did not have much to say. I suppose I needed the quiet and time to prepare for my weekend ahead. Those close to me know that I went to California this weekend for a women's retreat called Create Stillness with Kate Swoboda. I cannot possibly articulate the weekend in a blog post. It would somehow never live up to the experience that took place. It was healing, emotional, powerful and safe. It was all that I craved and a little bit of that extra something I didn't even know I was missing. I had been missing connection. I have been craving community.

I started the weekend with one question in my mind: "What is my passion and how will I know when I find it?" I left with the realization that what I am really seeking is PASSION. I've been seeking rich and meaningful friendships. I have been seeking examples of love and compassion and understanding. I have been seeking a way to live a more authentic life and be comfortable in my own skin. Most of all I have been seeking a way to courageously live the life I was meant to live and do it with the integrity and PASSION that I admire in so many others. I needed this weekend to teach me that the answer I was ultimately seeking is not what I should be doing but instead how I should be doing it.

When you really see something it is hard to unsee that which you have overlooked in the past. That is what I am settling into today. My new eyes are seeing. My heart is bigger and fuller than it was just one week ago. I feel lighter and more in touch. I am ready to start walking my crooked path to my unknown destination. I know that just starting to put one foot in front of the other is enough. I am enough. I have the power to be all that I want to be. I am ready.

PS. The ring? From my friend, Danette at Olive & Hope. My new favorite accessory!

Finding My Rhythm

“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea” ~Isak Dinesen

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Monday Musings...

I am thankful:

- For the flight attendant who gave me a bottle of water for my drive on Friday even though there was no beverage service.

- For Kate. For seeing me. For seeing me so intently that I could almost physically feel her embracing my presence from across the room.

- For water and what it does to my spirit. Everything from the hot bath on Friday night to the roar of the ocean and cleansing rain on Sunday.

- For new friends. My new people. From the friends on the East and to the West and the ones from the North.

- For the coffee shop in Pacific Grove and the new memories that have been seeded there.

- For the tears that came and the weeks past where I have felt them coming yet was unable to embrace the emotion and let it be. The wave that finally came over me was powerful, vulnerable, raw and so very real.

- For the shift that I allowed to happen inside of me and the willingness to let it be OK to grow just now. To take new steps this very moment towards my purpose.

- For music and the perfectly timed playlist that filled the radio waves on my drive yesterday.

- For the mother on the airplane traveling alone with her two young children. One heaving into the air-sick bag and the other not old enough to understand. This reminded me to be gentle with my own daughter.

-For the magical moment the sun filled the sky on the flight home with a sendoff only California could offer. Whispering reminders of things to come.