Friday, January 18, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
It has almost become a ritual for our family. Gazing out the back window as the sun drifts down. We pause. Some nights there isn't much to see when clouds blot out the sun but other nights we are treated to a little something like this. Vast open sky and a spectrum of color.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
I've been a busy little bee lately. If I am not shooting with the Polaroid then I am probably making jewelry or trying to learn how to cut glass bottles. Don't ask how the latter is going. In addition I am slowly working on a new website. I have been feeling the itch for change and to move to a site where I have the freedom of flexibility for future changes. So watch for the announcement coming soon!
If you haven't been over to the shop in awhile I have added some new prints, cards and jewelry. Also I am now offering custom word necklaces in the form of a photo pendant. A great way to show off your word of the year! I love making custom orders and have made several these past few weeks. So if there is something you are looking for but don't see in the shop I'd be happy to work with you to create a special piece!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
I'm playing again this week with 52 Photos and hope to make a weekly habit of it. This week's theme is: Right Now. I picked an imperfect shot to share because really being in the moment is accepting the imperfections that arise and going with the flow. We've had a fair amount of snow this year which is something my daughter is reveling in. So I snapped off just a few shots of her playing then set the intention of being in the moment and watching her joy. Observing the white powder glisten as it fell down and marveling in all the beauty around me. This is what right now looks like to me.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
2012 is falling away. I'm ready to take on 2013. I've been making necklaces like crazy this week and will hopefully get them listed on Etsy soon.
I'm incredibly excited to try out the new big girl camera too! This was one of my first few shots. I am playing along this week in the 52 Photo's Project. Having prompts feels like a perfect way start learning my new toy.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
In anticipation of the arrival of my new Big Girl camera I am feeling like I want to pass on a little kindness. That and patience never was a virtue of mine. Thanks to my cat knocking my DSLR off the desk and hearing it crack and pop as it hit I have been without a proper digital camera for over a month. I'm going stir crazy. So how about a giveaway? Because really who doesn't love giveaways?
In my thrifting adventures and because of very generous gifts from family I have many Polaroid cameras. In doing some inventory today I realized that no two are alike except for one pair. So I'd like to pass one along to you. If you are wanting to add to your collection or just want to try instant photography for the first time I would love for you to enter. Simply leave a comment below on why you would love to give this guy a home. I'll let the random number generator pick a winner on the end of Monday the 7th.
The best part: it works! I tested it just to make sure!
Update! The lovely folks at Impossible have offered to send a pack of PX680 film to the winner!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Though I attempt to keep some parts of my life private here I feel like I actually share quite a bit. This past year was a roller coaster full of dramatic ups and downs for my family and myself.
So when I was brought to my knees with news this Fall I thought to myself that it would definitely be going to the blog. Because that is just something I do. Its a way for me to work through it, not unlike therapy. Only it didn't. I kept it balled up tightly only sharing with a select few. I cried. A lot. Mostly alone. I didn't let anyone help and I didn't reach out.
Tracey Clark's recent post about breaking her blog silence helped me realize that I can share this. I want to be able to share my hurts in a way that inspires others to reach out. I want to help others feel not so alone. Only right now I can't seem to muster a sparkly post about how to do that.
I am a mother. With that comes worry, pain, fear, love, heartache, stress, sleepless nights, giggles, homework, band-aids, adventure and so much more. When I learned that my daughter: My beautiful, spirited, unique child was recently diagnosed with Aspergers I was heartbroken. The words opened a long festering wound of worry and guilt. Yes I am fully aware how many other more challenging conditions there are in this world and I am grateful. But still there was a deep mourning period I had to go through. I had to let go of what I was hoping her childhood would look like. I had to let go of the picture I had created in my head for her. I have to allow her to be herself fully and truly and resolve to help her navigate this world in her own unique way. Which is a journey all mothers take.
There is nothing wrong with her nor will there be. I don't like the thought of attaching a label to her one bit so I will do my best not to. I will be an advocate for her with her schooling and find ways to help her as much as I can. Most of all I will stop beating myself up over the fact that we didn't catch on sooner. I always was hoping that maybe her sensitives were just that and we would get through it. We rode the roller coaster of anxiety for years. Tip toeing through challenges. Mostly we just stopped doing things that she could not do. Like going to movies or being outside when it was windy. Part of this new understanding comes acceptance and a willingness to not push so hard. To allow her to be where she is right now and find some outside support for all of us.
I'm realizing I am not super mom. I never really thought I was doing a stellar job but never asked for help either. I never admitted how difficult life was for us at times. How much shame and guilt I went to bed feeling every night. Those are the things that are harder to break free of.
I wasn't sure what direction the words would go once I started typing. I can't say that I feel ready to be uplifted by all of this just yet but at least with knowledge comes relief. We have a direction now, one that is missing the uncertainty we had before. That feels better.
Thank you all for seeing me and witnessing my ups and downs this past year. It has been quite a ride. One that I am ready to transform this year into with a lot more revelry and a heck of a lot less worry.