Monday, March 21, 2011
What I know...
I have been having a challenging day. I found myself struggling to stay grounded and present. My patience was wavering with my daughter. Something just felt off from the minute I woke up this morning. I was in the "ick." Somehow I stumbled back in it without even knowing it. I tried settling into yoga but found myself getting antsy. I sat in front of the computer. I wandered around the house. Nothing seemed to be a comfort. So I purged. I purged online and I purged at home. I purged my thoughts. Just...... purged. The act of going through my items and organizing them is intensely calming to me. It is a way for me to create some stillness in my life. Dare I even say that it is a meditative practice for me. When I am done and I have a big huge pile ready for charity I literally release a huge sigh.
I feel lighter.
Little by little I let go of things bogging me down.
I let go of anything I am clinging needlessly to.
In this moment I acknowledge I will need to actively work on creating a stillness practice for myself and PRACTICE it. Today I am allowing myself the freedom to not feel the pull to be there for everyone.
That it is OK to say: "I'm sorry but I can't help you today, I need this day for me."
That my projects can wait until tomorrow.
That I did enough today.