I have been having a challenging day. I found myself struggling to stay grounded and present. My patience was wavering with my daughter. Something just felt off from the minute I woke up this morning. I was in the "ick." Somehow I stumbled back in it without even knowing it. I tried settling into yoga but found myself getting antsy. I sat in front of the computer. I wandered around the house. Nothing seemed to be a comfort. So I purged. I purged online and I purged at home. I purged my thoughts. Just...... purged. The act of going through my items and organizing them is intensely calming to me. It is a way for me to create some stillness in my life. Dare I even say that it is a meditative practice for me. When I am done and I have a big huge pile ready for charity I literally release a huge sigh.
I feel lighter.
Little by little I let go of things bogging me down.
I let go of anything I am clinging needlessly to.
I breathe.
In this moment I acknowledge I will need to actively work on creating a stillness practice for myself and PRACTICE it. Today I am allowing myself the freedom to not feel the pull to be there for everyone.
That it is OK to say: "I'm sorry but I can't help you today, I need this day for me."
That my projects can wait until tomorrow.
That I did enough today.
I'm glad you made it through and stayed positive. I've been spring cleaning, organizing...throwing old stuff out-dust collectors-it's so, so so, very therapeutic, yes! I'm kind-of ashamed to be keeping so much useless stuff. And expired products. Excess.
ReplyDeleteI know so well that ick ... and I too love to purge, to clean, to throw away - in fact you're motivating me to do some of that tomorrow! xox
ReplyDeleteGood for you!
ReplyDeleteI also know the feeling of ick -- I call it the Funk. And I love to purge. BUT - I have never used the latter as an antidote for the former. But it seems so obvious after reading your words. I feel like I have just gained another tool in my box for those funky days! Thank you - and glad you made it through today.
ReplyDeleteI was just talking to a friend last night about needed to take time for yourself in order to be there for everyone else. I admire your honesty here so much and I am so happy to hear you found that peace you were searching for.
ReplyDeleteWe have all woke up to a bad mood for no reason a time or two but the thing about you is that you really worked to changed that mood and are still working to find a solution in case it happens in the future. That is such an amazing attitude to have!
ahhhh the feeling of purging... renewal... it feels so darn good! it is amazing how things can bog us down - all the way around to the different facets of our life.
ReplyDeleteit is nice to feel lighter! good for you!!
Oh, so it was at your house too then? Good to know. I have felt so restless and unsettled today. I hate that feeling. It makes my wick too short and the feeling of overwhelm too strong. I am glad you found a window out of it today. I think tomorrow I might do some purging as well. I think it might help a lot. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Cel. Feeling a bit of ick creeping in myself. I like the idea of purging, but then get overwhelmed by that. A bit more ick. Here's to us. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLooks like everyone has had the drags. Me too and I thought I was all alone. You have a special way of helping everyone feel better. :) Love you much.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post -- I've been mindfully purging for the past year -- trying to leave my time, energy, money for the things that really matter :) I hope it helps you out of the ick!
ReplyDeleteoh how I know that feeling and yes, purging what isn't needed in our life does help.
ReplyDeletexo