Monday, March 21, 2011

What I know...


I have been having a challenging day. I found myself struggling to stay grounded and present. My patience was wavering with my daughter. Something just felt off from the minute I woke up this morning. I was in the "ick." Somehow I stumbled back in it without even knowing it. I tried settling into yoga but found myself getting antsy. I sat in front of the computer. I wandered around the house. Nothing seemed to be a comfort. So I purged.  I purged online and I purged at home. I purged my thoughts. Just...... purged. The act of going through my items and organizing them is intensely calming to me. It is a way for me to create some stillness in my life. Dare I even say that it is a meditative practice for me. When I am done and I have a big huge pile ready for charity I literally release a huge sigh.

I feel lighter.

Little by little I let go of things bogging me down.

I let go of anything I am clinging needlessly to.

I breathe.

In this moment I acknowledge I will need to actively work on creating a stillness practice for myself and PRACTICE it. Today I am allowing myself the freedom to not feel the pull to be there for everyone.

That it is OK to say: "I'm sorry but I can't help you today, I need this day for me."

That my projects can wait until tomorrow.

That I did enough today.

11 comments:

  1. I'm glad you made it through and stayed positive. I've been spring cleaning, organizing...throwing old stuff out-dust collectors-it's so, so so, very therapeutic, yes! I'm kind-of ashamed to be keeping so much useless stuff. And expired products. Excess.

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  2. I know so well that ick ... and I too love to purge, to clean, to throw away - in fact you're motivating me to do some of that tomorrow! xox

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  3. Good for you!

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  4. I also know the feeling of ick -- I call it the Funk. And I love to purge. BUT - I have never used the latter as an antidote for the former. But it seems so obvious after reading your words. I feel like I have just gained another tool in my box for those funky days! Thank you - and glad you made it through today.

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  5. I was just talking to a friend last night about needed to take time for yourself in order to be there for everyone else. I admire your honesty here so much and I am so happy to hear you found that peace you were searching for.

    We have all woke up to a bad mood for no reason a time or two but the thing about you is that you really worked to changed that mood and are still working to find a solution in case it happens in the future. That is such an amazing attitude to have!

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  6. ahhhh the feeling of purging... renewal... it feels so darn good! it is amazing how things can bog us down - all the way around to the different facets of our life.
    it is nice to feel lighter! good for you!!

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  7. Oh, so it was at your house too then? Good to know. I have felt so restless and unsettled today. I hate that feeling. It makes my wick too short and the feeling of overwhelm too strong. I am glad you found a window out of it today. I think tomorrow I might do some purging as well. I think it might help a lot. :)

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  8. I'm with you, Cel. Feeling a bit of ick creeping in myself. I like the idea of purging, but then get overwhelmed by that. A bit more ick. Here's to us. xoxo

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  9. Page FredericksonMarch 23, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    Looks like everyone has had the drags. Me too and I thought I was all alone. You have a special way of helping everyone feel better. :) Love you much.

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  10. Thanks for the post -- I've been mindfully purging for the past year -- trying to leave my time, energy, money for the things that really matter :) I hope it helps you out of the ick!

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  11. oh how I know that feeling and yes, purging what isn't needed in our life does help.

    xo

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