Tuesday, May 10, 2011
I don't think the dream had anything to do with vanity or how I look on the outside. I think it very much has to do with who I am on the inside.
This is how I feel like I am walking through my life right now. I'm gazing on all the faces I once knew and some are looking back at me with an utterly blank expression. I am going through a major change right now. It feels colossal to me and very accelerated. I believe I have been preparing my whole life for this big monumental shift that is occurring. Or maybe I have been shifting little by little every day. I'm not really sure. Am I becoming a different version of myself or am I just removing the facade that was once my shell?
Isn't this moment I am in right now, exactly where I need to be? I believe so. I've said before that I am on a crooked path of self discovery. Bobbing and weaving my way through. Realigning myself when the direction feels off. Testing the waters every so often. Sometimes I get stuck or distracted but I eventually always carry on.
One shift started today is my diet. I am going through some challenging health issues and out of desperation showed up at a Naturopathic Dr's office last month. With his help I am trying some new eating habits and attempting to break some old. This morning I started a three week detox and will be eliminating most of the foods I love from my diet. I'm digging deep to find the strength to stick with it, knowing it will make me feel better at least temporarily until we can get to the root of the issue. I'm learning that ignoring health concerns doesn't make them go away and sometimes we all need help addressing them. Sometimes multiple opinions. Sometimes big shifts are needed.
So that is where I am in this moment. Shifting and preparing for what is next.